The Emotion That Feels Like Static
Tanee
September, 2022
"I told my therapist I've been fine with feeling nothing. She didn't look convinced. To be honest, neither was I."
It’s been 4 years since this feeling stuck around, like it’s become a part of me.
The Static
It's called numbness, but let's call it static to simplify. When I ask people what sadness feels like, they say it’s like bad weather happening in their minds. But static isn’t a storm. It’s just… nothing. It's like an old TV at midnight showing a dead channel. There is no picture, no good music, just white noise and static sound.
For me, it was like
"I sipped my latte, the bitterness cutting through the numbness for a second. The fried tofu was crispy on the outside, soft on the inside—comfort food that didn’t quite comfort me. I stared out the window, wondering why I even came. Was I hoping the caffeine would kickstart something? Or was I just killing time, waiting for the static to leave on its own?"
What is the cause?
My therapist and I played detective trying to break the unsolved case. Depression? Nope, depression is a blanket of sadness. Demotivated? I show up to work and beat my to-do list. Burnout? It doesn’t even ache my head.
Do's and Don'ts (Based on Experience)
Do's
- Stroll the city. It might tag along, but at least we're moving.
- Play music: It's better to feel empty while singing.
- Text a friend: Send random jokes or reels to your group.
Don'ts
- Wait for it to magically disappear (Spoiler: it won't)
- Compare yourself to others. “Others might have it worse,” but this isn’t the Olympics. No gold medals here—just static.
- Romanticize. Just don't.
The (not) scientific result
I don't know why emptiness come, neither do some people on the internet. I don’t know where it goes after that. But here's the thing.
Maybe it's a signal from our body to take a disconnect for a moment. It's like static channel on television at 00 AM. Or maybe it's the way our body says there is something wrong but doesn't want to ache you just like the static sound on the radio. Either way, it's temporary (maybe it took a long time).
Now
If this happens to you, would you mind sharing what your static looks like?